This is NOT the End: The Story of Carolina Hart Continues
by bplumz79
Summary: As we left off, Reba is in a coma, and Carrie is in depression. But when Carrie and Kyra find a family from her past, will they ease her pain or make it worse? THe story of Carolina Hart continues! PLEASE DO NOT READ UNTIL YOU HAVE READ The Story of Carolina Hart!
1. Forever Alone

**This is NOT the End: The Story of Carolina Hart Continues**

**CH 1: Forever Alone**

**Carrie's POV**

Mom's in a coma. Well this is just freaking lovely. My mother, my best friend, my confidant, my world in the hospital looking lifeless. I've probably sent her over 100 texts. I had to drag myself to Jake's A.W.A.N.A. club on Wednesday. I forced myself to stay and help out. But something changed from last year. The leader for games was new and the leader for mom's old group was new. They were standing together talking to Kyra when I went up to introduce myself in a casual, kind of weird way. My cell phone rang. I quickly put it on vibrate. It was Daddy. He wanted to talk to Kyra, but she wasn't answering her phone. I ran up to her.

"Kyra, Daddy wants you to answer your phone," I said.

"Can you tell him my phone died," Kyra asked, "Oh, this is Carrie, she's the one that survived a month long diabetic coma."

"Kyra, shut up," I blushed. I looked to the couple and introduced myself, "Yeah, I'm Kyra's twin, Carolina."

"I'm Maryann Reeder, and this is my husband, James," the woman said, "You probably don't remember us at all, but you two used to play with our youngest daughter, Angie, when you were little."

"Oh, no wonder you two look familiar," Kyra said, "How are Angie, Gina, and Ben?"

"Benjamin's married to Lily-Anne Tomlinson, Giovanna's going for her master's, and Angela told us she's in all of your classes this year."

"So that was Angie Reeder, I totally forgot," I said, "Oh, do you want our cell numbers? Make sure to give them to Ben, Lily, Gina, and Angie."

We exchanged numbers and had an amazing night. I can't believe we saw out godparents for the first time in almost ten years. It was truly an amazing night.


	2. Godparent's Galore

**CH 2: Godparent's Galore**

**The Emails used in this chapter are 100% real and taken from my personal email conversations with my second mother and second father.**

**Carrie's POV:**

**Me: Hey! Lol what's up?**

**Uncle James: Hey girl, just hanging out with Maryann and Angie. Do you and Kyra want to go to Nashville with us next week? Your dad said it was ok as long as you wanted to go.**

**Me: OMG! DREAM COME TRUE! I'LL GO! Kyra said she'd go to!**

**Uncle James: Great. Benny and Lily live there and we're going to see them **** and they wanted you to come.**

**Me: They did? OMG so amazing! Are Gina and Angie going?**

**Uncle James: Angie is going with Gina and they are going two days before us.**

**Me: Kk I gotta go. Love you!**

**Uncle James: Love you too girl. See ya**

I smiled so hard. I miss Ben so much. AAAHHHH! Nashville! I can't believe it!

When we got to Nashville I screamed when I saw Ben, Angie, Lily, and Gina.

"Oh my goodness, are those the Hart twins," Lily asked, "I can't believe it!" Kyra and I ran to hug them all. Angie and I hung out most of the time, and Gina was with Kyra. Being in Nashville was an amazing time for me.

Three months flew by. Uncle James and Aunt Maryann were worried about me because I was always in so much pain. Uncle James sent me an email one night. I eagerly opened it. He said it was a thought from God. I began to read it.

**Carolina –**

**I'm only a pencil-pushing accountant but God revealed something important to me about you. And if you say, "I know that..." after reading this email, I will run over and decapitate you at the elbows ... (haha). Here is what God told me about you:**

**You live in an isolated, scary and lonely world... not the real world... the world that you horrifically described in your 6:43pm text on july 22 (yesterday)...**

**You live in "Carolina's World" and it is torture, you're in constant pain, and you need need need need need need need something to stop the pain... you want escape but you can't... you want someone to take away the pain... but to you that means you want someone to come into your world, "Carolina's World", and share your pain… someone who lives with the same pain that tortures you.**

**Carolina - no one can or will survive in your world of pain... not even you... anyone who has gone into "Carolina's World"... to take away your pain... comforted you and made you forget the pain... but when they left you and your world you felt rejected, lonely, unloved, hated, ugly...**

**You don't need someone to take away the pain. You NEED to get out of "Carolina's World"... but it looks like you don't want to get out... it's the only world you know... sadly, your world of constant pain is also your security... and you don't know how to get out, so you remain a prisoner in your world of pain. **

**You can get out - first - you have to quit your obsession of texting. Texting is how you survive in your world of pain... sometimes you are able to drag someone into your world - for an hour, for a day, maybe two days... by texting them from inside "Carolina's World". **

**If you really really really want out of "Carolina's World"... if you're serious and want OUT... if you want to leave the pain and isolation behind... then do 2 things...**

** Send me one text after you read this... to tell me that you are not going to text me or your friends for ONE WEEK (ugh, i know)**

** Over the next week, spend time alone with God - read one Psalm every day from Psalm 144 to Psalm 150 - just you and God - do not get desperate and drag anyone into "Carolina's World" to comfort you - lean on God and God only... yea, it will be hard, but that's the point... you already ARE alone and you will ALWAYS be alone as long as you remain a prisoner in your world of pain...**

**God will not fail you. He will show you the richness of LIFE outside of "Carolina's World". He will enrich your life... and Maryann and I will be waiting with a hug when you take God's hand and let him walk you out of your world of pain.**

**SO, YOUR NEXT TEXT TO ME WILL TELL ME IF YOU'RE GOING TO SHUT OUT EVERYONE AND STAY IN YOUR WORLD OF PAIN... or if you're going to embrace God's amazing gift of a peaceful life!**

**We'll be waiting on the outside...**

Wow… what could I say? I want out of this pain and everything… but would I be able to make it? Not texting anybody for a week? Will I survive? I have to. For them.

I managed to take on that challenge, and by then Christmas was right around the corner. I got my report card and my grades were lower than last time, but that was when Mom was in a lighter coma. But she went in deeper. My English teacher, Mr. Hough, wanted me to talk to him after class one day.

"Carrie, I'm concerned with your grades, and I feel like there's something going on at home," he said, "Are your parents fighting or divorced?"

I was so shocked but I replied, "No. They've been married for over twenty years!"

"Well, I will call your mother and I will have to have a conference with her."

"She won't answer her phone," I said tearing up, "She's been in the hospital since the summer, and we've refused to take her off life support. She's been able to breathe without the ventilator for short periods of time, but she's not getting any better. I'm done here." I left the room crying so hard. Apparently he had the same speech with Kyra the day before that.

When I got home, I emailed Aunt Maryann and Uncle James saying:

**Guys, you really need to adopt me. My dad said he'd go with it. Please please please adopt me. I need to get away from the pain.**

A little over ten minutes later I get a heartbreaking reply from Maryann.

**We cannot adopt you, sorry. It's just not possible, sorry. You have your dad and he is responsible for you. The only people who can take on the responsibility would be family members. You really need to seek professional Christian counseling. It's the only way you are going to deal with all these problems-you can't run away from them and you obviously can't deal with them in a healthy way. Get some outside interests and immerse yourself in something healthy. Stop wallowing in this pain and feeling sorry for yourself-get out of the house and do something for someone else. Volunteer somewhere where you really see how bad people have it and/or get a hobby and work on bettering yourself. You have to stop dwelling on the negative and making things so much worse than they really are. You know all this but don't seem to really want to help yourself. You like the pain and drama. Sorry to be so blunt and sound mean but this has been going on for a year and it's time to stop. Get off your phone and Facebook and stupid texting so much that you have to create drama for interest, cause life is just not like you say it is. It's way too much drama for me to deal with. Again, I'm sorry to sound mean. I don't mean to be mean but again, it's time to turn your life around and move on put it in the past and go forward and stop picking up the pain to absorb yourself in.**

And I did the unthinkable. I took a screwdriver, and my new pencil and crayon sharpeners, took out the blades, and sliced my wrists. I just wanted to get out of here. I kept on cutting and didn't stop. It burned at first, but afterwards it felt so good.


	3. A Cutter's Diary

**CH 3: A Cutter's Diary**

**Carrie's POV:**

Blood was oozing out of my wrists. It felt good. I had to stop the bleeding somehow. I grabbed as many tissues as I could and I dried up the blood. I put on a sweatshirt to hide the cuts. I thought of a good lie. I'll tell them I had a nosebleed if they ask. I slowly went downstairs for dinner.

"What's for dinner," I asked.

"Grilled cheese," Dad said, "Kids, I need to tell you something."

"What is it," Jake asked.

"Kids, the doctors fear that mom is going brain dead, they want me to sign her DNR papers, but I wanted to tell you first."

"Daddy, you can't sign those papers, then we'll never know if she'll get better or not," I cried.

"Carrie's right, Dad," Kyra said, "What if Mom does get better? What if God had planned for her to get better, but we let her die?"

"I don't know, I still think it's best to sign the DNR papers," Dad said. I ran up to my room and cried.

**Maryann's POV:**

**Carolina: Aunt Maryann, can you or Uncle James come get me please?**

**Me: Why?**

**Carolina: I'm just really mad at Daddy and I don't feel like talking to him. And I have to tell you and Uncle James something that I can't put in a text, call, or email…**

**Me: Alright, James will be there soon.**

**Carolina: Thanks Aunt Maryann. Love you!**

What did Carrie have to tell us?

James came home with Carrie about twenty minutes later. Carrie was sobbing. She didn't hug me, which was strange.

"Sweetheart, what's going on," I asked Carrie.

"Daddy wants to sign Mom's DNR papers if she dies," Carrie sobbed, "We all don't want him to. And I cut." She rolled up her sleeves and showed us her cuts.

"Oh my gosh, Carrie," James said, "Why'd you do it and what did you use?"

"I used a pencil sharpener blade," Carrie said in between gasps for air.

"But why did you do it, Carolina," I asked.

"Because of you," she screamed. I felt my heart break and my stomach turn into a knot. James held Carrie to try to calm her down. _How did I let her get into this? Why did I let her cut? I should have adopted her, but I didn't._ I went to go hug her.

"Don't touch me," Carrie screamed as she swatted me away. I collapsed on the couch in tears. I can't believe I caused her pain and for her to cut. This was unreal.

"What if we don't adopt you, but we let you live with us," I asked.

"Whatever," Carrie said dully as she gave me the death glare.

"Do you want to live with us," James asked.

"Uh yeah," Carrie answered, "Daddy won't care. He doesn't care about us and what we want. He cares about the rest of them more than me. Nobody cares about little Carolina Nell Hart at all."

"Carolina Nell, you know that that is not true at all," I said.

"THAT'S COMPLETE BULL CRAP, MARYANN BECAUSE IF YOU CARED YOU WOULD HAVE TRIED TO HELP ME AND YOU DIDN'T! YOU DIDN'T DO ANYTHING TO HELP ME! YOU LET ME SIT THERE AND SILENTLY DROWN IN THE PAIN THAT YOU CAUSED ME," Carrie screamed. She began sobbing, "The only person who did care about me was Mom, but she's in between life and death right now."

"What about Lori Ann," James asked, "You seemed so close with her when we saw her last."

"The key word is seemed," Carrie said, "She's been nothing but a wreck since Mom's accident."

"Well, I'll take you back to your house so you can get your clothes and things," James said.


End file.
